Posted on 12/20/2015
From religious rituals to lighthearted activities, this time of year is chock full of traditions, for most of us and our families. While we may feel obligated to carry on traditions we learned as children, as parents we can add to those long-standing customs with rituals of our own. Not only can traditions create a sense of unity and belonging within your family and larger cultural groups, but they can also create strong memories that relate to what you find important. Here are a few keys to figuring out which traditions make sense for your family.
Realize the Significance of Holiday Traditions
Traditions surrounding annual holidays might not seem as significant as those everyday habits, but in some ways, they can be even more important in forming your child’s value system. Why? The excitement and multi-sensory nature of many holiday activities naturally leads to strong memories being formed during the season. The good news is that when you leverage your traditions to point toward the values and priorities your family holds dear, you can use the holidays — and annual traditions, in particular — to help cement those core values into your children’s hearts and minds. But that takes being intentional, not only about which traditions you choose but about which ones you leave out.
Don’t (Necessarily) Copy Others
Just because “Elf on the Shelf” is something other families you know are doing, doesn’t mean you have to. And just because you grew up leaving “cookies for Santa” and having cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning and a turkey dinner later that day doesn’t mean that you have to do that, either. In fact, you simply can’t do it all. Especially if you and your spouse or partner grew up with different traditions, you won’t have enough time or energy to include all those you both enjoyed (or endured), plus new ones for your combined family.
Especially for those who tend to get caught in the “comparison trap,” new traditions can offer an opportunity to break free from stereotypes or guilt feelings that really don’t help any of us feel “merry and bright.” Forget the Joneses, forget Pinterest, and do your own thing. It’s okay, really. Since you’re going to have to make choices, you want to choose carefully — which leads to our next point.
Be Intentional About What You Do
In order to help determine which traditions are a good fit for your family, think about what various practices communicate. For instance, if you’re passionate about living a healthy lifestyle, why not go for a morning jog on Christmas morning, wearing Santa hats. If you want to focus on giving to others, maybe stop at the homes of a few neighbors and give them cards or small gifts. Perhaps you have a blended family and really want to emphasize a family identity; in that case, matching shirts for everyone might be a great fit.
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