Posted on 11/11/2016
If you’ve read Calm Kids, Part 1, hopefully you understand a little more about your child’s fight-or-flight response. As you begin to empathize with your child’s feelings of panic — whether they result in attempts to escape or lash out — you’ll be on the path to helping soothe them and create the kind of calm feelings they simply can’t force themselves to feel. Over time, as you equip and repeatedly guide your child in creating a sense of calm, your child can learn to see feelings of panic as triggers to move toward calming rituals, rituals you’ve helped your child create.
Finding a ”Safe Place”
Sometimes, kids simply need to be able to physically escape from a stressful environment, not as punishment, but as a preventive measure. Does your child have a place like that? For some, the great outdoors might be the perfect choice. You might think that your child’s bedroom would be an obvious choice, but it may or may not feel “safe.” Maybe it lacks tools to allow your child a creative outlet or focused play. Despite the benefits of bunking up, a bedroom shared with a sibling might not offer the option of privacy. If that’s an issue for your child, making or printing a “Do Not Disturb” sign they can put up may help.
Escaping to a Special Bed
Another way to help create privacy is to purchase a bed that offers escape from visual clutter, such as this Hideaway Loft or Maxtrix® Princess Poster Bed, or Loft Bed with an Under-bed Curtain and/or Top Tent. Of course, reducing the number of toys and cutting down on clutter can be helpful, as well, especially for those children who can feel overstimulated easily.
Providing Calming Sensory Input
In addition to allowing your child to physically escape from whatever feels like an attack, you can incorporate sensory experiences that soothe the emotions. Movements like rubbing or patting may increase the stress response, while the steady pressure of a bear hug can feel secure and calming. Motions such as swinging or rocking may also help your child recalibrate, emotionally, as can playing with Play-Doh®. Aromas such as lavender, vanilla, and chamomile can also provide a sense of calm, as can music such as lullabies like these or instrumental music (YouTube video).
Keeping a Sensory Took Kit on Hand
Your child needs something to reach for when he or she is away from you and away from that “safe place.” You can pack whatever works best in his or her backpack. A coloring kit or easy-to-make “time out bottles” like these provide both movement and visual impressions and are easy to keep on hand, even when you’re away from home.
No matter how many calming tools you offer your child, nothing can compensate for getting healthy sleep and taking time to pursue positive family relationships.
Continue reading with Part 3.
Read the Entire Calm Kids Series:
- Calm Kids, Part 1: Why Kids Can't Always "Calm Down"
- Calm Kids, Part 2: Sensational Calming Rituals for Kids
- Calm Kids, Part 3: Calming Bedtime Rituals for Your Child
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